This is your surgeon... on laudanum.

New year's day is a good time to make the last post here. Over summer break i will read much Patrick O'Brian and, i hope, somehow become a considerably less awful person. Rereading the previous sentence i am impressed by the implied causality.

Really; the year is not very old yet and already such sadness(es). Why. I cope and then i can't cope and be like an awful person which adds to sadness; i cannot even work which takes away from the little i have (left).

So here is my fist coming down on the table with a business-like thump. Enough! it says. Enough.

at times, your disinterestedness may seem insincere, to strangers

shite, i'm reading six books, this is the life!

note to self, never take blank verse for granted.
i have wise professors.

i need summer clothes but i can't be arsed to go shopping.

i'm looking for frank o'hara.
the new york school has saved my life.

i have nothing to say except the following. bebo valdés is an excellent musician and anybody reading this should drop everything to go listen to him.

ddgdgdgddgdgdgdgdgd;;;;;;;;dgdgdgdhhdddg;;

sudden urge to see 'jurassic park'.

fact: i still like dinosaurs.

today was good. very good. yes.

people who put their hands between their thighs when it's cold;
people who put their hands under their armpits;
people who rub their hands together;
people who hold the rhythm for the first four measures using their fists and their knees;
people who count your pulse;
people who cup their palms behind their ears;
people who light cigarettes (once, twice, thrice);
people without fingerprints;
people without fingernails;
people who put their hands on your back and push (the softer the harder);
people who put their hands around your feet and pull (harder)

and whyever not

Rules:
1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what. No cheating!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?
"let me explain", sonny boy williamson ii.


WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"mater ora filium", the hilliard ensemble.
(i think not...)


WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"superstylin'", groove armada.
(heh, not really.)


HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"get out of town", caetano veloso.


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
"bad luck and trouble", john lee hooker.
(sounds about right.)


WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"all for one", qntal.
('i must go walk the woods so wild, and wander here and there in dread and deadly fear, for where i trusted, i am beguiled, and all for one.'
yes. yes, ok.)


WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"dancing in my head", the raincoats.


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
"men of good fortune", lou reed.
(no. except the 'me, i just don't care at all' part.)


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"orange ball of hate", the mountain goats.


WHAT IS 2+2?
"i'm going on a journey never to return", t bone burnett.


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"walking with a ghost",
tegan & sara.(not that i have a best friend, ha.)


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"love goes home to paris in the rain", the magnetic fields.
(n/a, but; marry me mr merritt.)


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"elephant gun", beirut.
('let the seasons begin, it rolls right onlet the seasons begin, take the big king down.'
this makes me happyish.)


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"the rain song", led zeppelin.
(bootleg! i am hardcore! 'this is a slow one, it's got nothing to do with being silly'. quoi? non! vraiment?)


WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"prince moth mothy moth moth", autechre.
(really rather insectoid burblings, gurglings and thumps. i wonder what this could signify.)


WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"i put a spell on you", nina simone.
(HAHAHAHA. ahem. ha. hahahhaha.)


WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"do your best for rock 'n roll", linda thompson.
('the party’s nearly over, the guests are all but dead; take ‘em to the graveyard, lay ‘em down instead.'
priceless. i'll take it.)


WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
ravel's "scarbo".
(frankly i cannot imagine anything better than some excellent classico-romantic piano playing to quickly distract everyone from the main event.)


WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"four left feet", the ditty bops.


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"locomotive breath", jethro tull.
(could be worse, could be... halitosis.)


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"five years", david bowie.
('i never thought i'd need so many people.'
shoot me in the head.)


WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
"pie jesu", sissel kyrkjebö.
(i see we're still on the christianity theme. for the record, i loathe the sprinkly disney soundtrack effect used for this version.)

gunmetalmouth

Fruit tree, fruit tree
Open your eyes to another year.
They'll all know
That you were here when you're gone.

If I turn the music off I think and that's not good not good at all. So I turn the music back on. I'm afraid that one day I will wake up and find that it stopped working.

i tell you, my eyes are black as iron